7 Years Ago Today I Buried My Son

7 years ago today I buried my son.
7 years ago today I was a newly grieving Mother.
7 years ago today I saw the tiniest coffin in front of me knowing my sweet boys body was inside.
7 years ago today I was forced to admit you weren’t coming back.
7 years ago today I buried my son.
7 years ago today I buried my son.
7 years ago today I buried my son.
( no matter how many times I say it somehow it still doesn’t seem real even 7 years later )


This is for any Mother that is where I was 7 years ago: 

To The Newly Grieving Mother,

I know.  

I know how it feels to have your heart feel both heavy and empty..  

I know how it feels for your arms to ache from the emptiness of what you should be holding.

I know that your life will never be the same.  And how you will beg God for just one day to go back to the way things were so you can rest. 

I know how it feels to wonder if life is still worth living because you now question everything.  

I know the hard realization that stabs you in the heart , the moment you wake up.  The one that reminds you “Your baby is gone.”

I know how it feels to be surrounded by people you don’t want to see because the one person that matters most can’t be here.

I know the guilt you feel.  You’ve done nothing wrong, but the guilt has a way of invading your mind and trying to convince you otherwise.  

I know that the sight of other people being happy with their children makes you wants to scream and throw things.  

I know how it feels to look in the mirror and not even recognize the person staring back at you.  That woman looks broken now.

I know the feeling of seeing your dreams crumble and knowing you will never be able to put the pieces back together in the same way.  For your pieces are different now.

I know that you love your baby with every ounce of your being and I know that love will never go away.  

I know that you’re more than exhausted.  You always will be because grief is exhausting.

I know that words will do nothing to change what happened.  But, I also know that words have power and they can provide comfort.

I know that you don’t want to admit you relate to all of these points because that reminds you that your a grieving mother just like me.  

Finally, I know that you are loved and that you are never alone in this.