Lafayette Little Ones

There were multiple things on the calendar this weekend, but my kids pick came first.  It was no surprise to me when Leighton and Jean Paul were more than upset to find out they may not get to go to the Cajuns game this weekend.  True all the other events didn’t really involve them but in the end I would rather be with them over anywhere else.  So to Cajun Field we went; and in the freezing cold I must add lol.  They were troopers all afternoon and through the game.  Leighton decided to take a quick nap before halftime in the stands while Jean Paul ate his way through the game lol.  I love that they love home games in Lafayette supporting our local college.  And my heart couldn’t be prouder  as I watch Leighton clap along with the fight song and raise her tiny hand up in the air with the UL sign after every point we score!  

All Saints Day

With my new work schedule I haven’t had time to blog lately, but hopefully once we get in a routine I can get back on track.  Last week was All Saints Day and of course we celebrated with our sweet angel.  My Mom has gone to the blessing of the graces every year since Braxton passed away.  Rain or shine she has been there.  Most years I was unable to attend do to work but this year luckily I was off and got to join her and my Dad.  As we stood under the green tent in the back of the cemetery for the service I couldn’t help but remember the day we buried my baby boy.  That green tent has seen so many tears I imagine through the years.  Honestly it breaks my heart to even imagine how many tears because no one wants to be standing under that green tent burying a loved one.  As sad as it is to remember that day and the pain I felt it is also comforting to remember the love and support that surrounded me that day too.  Our friends and family will never understand how much their love and support meant to me on that day... one of the hardest days of my life.  No Mother should have to bury their child; yet it is something that happens every single day.  It is a pain and experience no one can ever truly comprehend until you have been there.  I pray daily for others to never have to feel the pain of losing a child, but if they do I can only hope they have the love and support of others like I do.

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
time to plant and time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

Trick or Treat Fun

Trick or Treating gets better every single year as the kids get older.   To my surprise they actually picked coordinating costumes this year without their OCD Mom persuading them at all!  Who would of thought lol!!!  This year Leighton was a little timid to walk up to each house and wanted me to hold her hand unless I promised her I wouldn’t leave her which is not like her at all.  But meanwhile her brother would just take off to introduce himself to every minion, paw patrol, dinosaur and pj mask he would see lol!  They both did share one thing in common though... they couldn’t wait till we were home to test taste their candy lol.  And as for Jean Paul he would eat one color sucker then run up and say “I not like blue sucker I like red” even though he had eaten the whole thing he thought that would get him another one lol!  I would ask him if he didn’t like it how come the whole thing was gone and he would just look at me and say “I don’t know but I not like it!” LOL!!!!  So we had another great Halloween with our neighbors and Maw Maw & Pepa!!!!!

The Braxton Shirt Bunch

The littlest things and the littlest supporters sometimes mean the most!!!!  Every single year our special sitter Tricia buys all of the kids she keeps Braxton shirts.  Each year I try and tell her to not feel like she has too, but every year she insists!  Well ok truth is if you know our Tricia you know she basically tells me I can’t tell her what she can and can’t do lol!  All of the kids love getting their Braxton shirts and then a few times through the year they will have Braxton shirt days and you should see how tickled they are to say they are all twins lol!  And in true Tricia fashion she gets this amazing picture every year for me; meanwhile, I can barely get just Leighton and Jean Paul to stand still for a picture for me!  I can remember Leighton being so excited the first year all her friends had her Bubba’s shirts and then when Jean Paul joined the crew her smile grew even more in the pictures!  But this year I can’t lie I had tears running down my face when I saw the group picture because Jean Paul looks beyond proud to be wearing his Bubba shirt with all of his friends!  This group picture each year is worth so much more than anyone can ever understand.  As a grieving mother each year that passes brings more and more worry that your baby will be slowly forgotten.  The pain is indescribable and sometimes it even feels unworthy of talking about because you know so many just won’t understand.  So to have moments like this and feel so much love and support all those pains are erased for a little while.  Tricia promised me after losing Braxton that my family and future kids were always welcome at her house and that we would always have a spot in her daycare.  I just never truly knew how much she meant it.  I say that because not only has she kept Leighton and now Jean Paul, she still keeps Braxton there in a very special way.  A way I never knew I needed.  His name is still spoken between those walls where he should of been playing, learning and growing; and to me that is more than I could of ever asked for.  Just like any other parent I want my son to be loved and man is he is loved by his friends and teachers at Mrs Tricia’s!!!!!!  I know he watches over every single one of them too!  There have been many times his spirit has made its presence known there as well and each time Tricia tells me about it to remind me how special he is to her.  I can’t help but believe our shirts are beyond speaking the truth this year...

Because of you I believe in Angels!!!!!

Bed Hair Don’t Care

When Mommy has to be at work for 6:00 AM this is what you get lol!

  Leighton being sassy as usual and...

Well I think Jean Paul’s picture speaks for itself.  

The crazy thing is that as more time passes I honestly think this picture perfectly represents his personality.  He can be moody but for the most part it’s truly his hard headed demeanor that gets him in trouble lol.  And say what you want about my push the limits little boy, cause at the end of the day he is one sweet teddy bear that only wants hugs and kisses.  He adores his big sister more than anything else.  As you can see in this picture he wants to pose when she does just to be next to her.  I can see him in high school still doing this exact thing before he walks out on school mornings lol.  Imitating her to annoy her and bed hair to the max.  He will be one of those kids that just doesn’t care what others think until you have an opinion about his sister I promise!!!!  So when I saw this picture this morning I had to laugh out loud, because you can lay out the perfectly ironed clothes, leave notes to remind them to brush their teeth (with toothpaste)  and even place the brush by the front door...

But some just aren’t bothered by what others think and that will be my Jean Paul!!!

You Say

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I'm not enough
Every single lie that tells me I will never measure up
Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low?
Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And You say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe, oh I believe
What You say of me
I believe

The only thing that matters now is everything You think of me
In You I find my worth, in You I find my identity, o-ooh

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
And You say I am held when I am falling short
And when I don't belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe, oh I believe
What You say of me
Oh, I believe

Taking all I have and now I'm laying it at Your feet
You have every failure God, and You'll have every victory, o-ooh

You say I am loved when I can't feel a thing
You say I am strong when I think I am weak
You say I am held when I am falling short
When I don't belong, oh You say I am Yours
And I believe, oh I believe
What You say of me
I believe

Oh I believe
Yes I believe
What You say of me
Oh I believe

Just One More Night

It has been a long 7 days!!!!!  Finally finished my my 7 day stretch of night shifts... till the next one lol.  I am absolutely loving the night shift; although, I’m steadily realizing I am way to nosey to be working at a trauma hospital lol.  I have no regrets of jumping right in and giving this shift a shot.  The hard part is missing my babies while I’m at work.  So yesterday I decided to forfeit some of my sleep and wake up early enough to pick them both up and bring them somewhere fun before I went in at 5:00 PM.  The were so excited as we headed to get ice cream and cookies, but couldn’t agree on what flavor they both were going to get!  Once we got there we picked our booth and started enjoying some time together.  Jean Paul wanted to show me all the sea animal figurines he had smuggled out of the car without me noticing and Leighton  proudly began showing me everything in her book sack that she had done at school.  Once Maw Maw got there they chose their ice cream and then both barely said a word while they inhaled the treat lol.  By the time they were done they both had marching blue smiles and my heart was so full.  I actually told myself in my head “Good job Mommy!”  But what happened next completely crushed me.  As I buckled them into Maw Maw’s van Leighton began sobbing.  And I mean sobbing huge crocodile tears.  She was crying so hard she could not even open her eyes.  Fighting back my own tears I kept telling her just one more night peanut, just one more night then I’ll be home for 7 whole days.  She kept crying harder and harder.  As my Mom told me to get in my car before she would see my cry I kissed her big and squeezed her tight.  As I got in my car I felt like I had been punched in the stomach, because my heart hurt so bad.  I told myself “Just one more night Mommy!”  

And yes I cried the whole way to work!

Walking For My Angel

Another year another walk.  Braxton what I wouldn’t do to have you hear baby boy!  I promised you I would never let you be forgotten and this is one way we have chosen to do that!  I literally just worked a 12 hour shift and am headed to the walk for you!!  The things you do for your kids!!!!!  Your brother and sister are so proud of you and can’t wait for this event every year!!  Today is for you my sweet boy!!!

Spoiled Rotten

Dates with my Daddy are times I cherish more and more as the years go by.  Some may call

 it spoiled; well ok yes I am spoiled rotten and I will admit it lol.  But at least I am an appreciative spoiled rotten daughter!!!!  Ever since I was a little girl my daddy has always made time for dates just for he and I.  It is one of the things I will always think of when I think of growing up.  Maybe he shouldn’t of taken me to Ruth Chris’s for our very first date because he set the standards pretty high lol!  I mean even as a 6 year old I knew I could never go backwards after that!  This is probably why he was then, is now and always will be the greatest man I know.  No one can compete or even come close to how he makes me feel.  All jokes aside I don’t need fine dining to have fun or spend time with my Daddy, but the special dates still are our tradition and I wouldn’t trade them for the world!!!!

The Same Table

How can everything around you seem to be spiraling out of control and with one glance of these two it can instantly all feel ok???  Literally I feel like I can’t keep up or even get a little ahead in my role as a Mom, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Friend and Employee these days.  Not that I mean everything is going wrong, but just that I feel like I’m constantly running in circles.  I apologize to the ones I love most because man they see the bad side of me when I’m stressed lol.  As I sat on the couch  bribing myself to get up and fold the clothes, finish my PRN paperwork for a new job, empty

the dishwasher, straighten up and iron tomorrow’s school clothes I literally was about to cry from the feelings of incapability. Then I looked over and saw my sweet babies coloring at their table together.  

The same table that has been in my house since I got married.

The same table that after losing our Braxton became our prayer table.

The same table that my children now sit and pray at before they eat their meals.

The same table that we allow our kids to make memories at while we watch their imaginations and personalities grow.

The same table that was given to me from my Great Grandfather because he built it with his own hands!

So as I sat their watching my miracles play together at that table, I couldn’t help but smile and feel like everything will be ok.  It will be ok because I will not give up.  After  I tucked my kids into bed tonight I walked up to that table and ran my hands across the top of it and thought about what my Great Grandfather would tell me right now.  Once I got past the curse words and lecture I know he would start with I heard him whisper how proud he is of me; and then I let the tears fall.  When I picked up my head to wipe my eyes right in front of me was a picture of Braxton on the wall. 

All I could do was look up and say “I get it”.  

Instantly I felt worthy and capable of everything I have ever wanted because I felt their presence!!!!  I may be a mess lately but this mess of a Mom, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Friend and Employee will not give up!!!  

Today We Remember

So thankful for the ones who stood with me and lit a candle for Braxton tonight.   He and all the other babies gone too soon we prayed for.  It is good to feel loved and supported on days like today!  Infant loss is beyond life changing and doesn’t get easier as time goes by.  Hug your loved ones tight and remember to tell them their worth, because time is only borrowed... it is not promised!

Sometimes Stress Catches Up With Us

After a very long Saturday at Cajun Field my little family needed some down time.  To be completely honest the stress of losing my job and completely starting over in my career path over the last few months is catching up with all of us.  I am beyond grateful for the blessings that have come my way and also beyond proud of myself for the first time in a very long time.  I truly never thought I could move past my comfort zone in my career, but surprisingly for once I didn’t sit back and cry... I kept going and would not let myself be defeated.  I know my kids were my driving force but I still had to be the one to get up every single day and keep going.  After losing Braxton some things that may have knocked me down don’t.  I guess I know how it feels to be completely broken and I refuse to let anything stand in the way of my kids getting everything they deserve, and that includes a Mommy who is willing to do whatever it takes to provide for them.  So I may be tired and I may be crabby, but I’m getting it done lol.  Even though my willpower is strong it doesn’t mean it can get a little stressful.  Sometimes we have to get angry, mad and sad to allow ourselves to recharge.  Well that’s why happened this weekend.  So I promise to post the precious pictures of my little ones at the UL Homecoming Game this week, but today we just chilled.  We went costume shopping, had an indoor picnic ( or PIMPNIC as Jean Paul called it lol), and went to the park and nothing was rushed.  Just the simple things today.  No housework or chores were even touched and that’s ok.  Baby steps are all we can do for right now,  because in the end who really knows what they are doing in this life RIGHT???

Wear Red Friday

We love to paint the town red for UL Homecoming!  Leighton was very specific about what she wanted to wear all the way up to her hairdo lol.  Jean Paul loves his Cajuns just as much as his sister but he also loves to do everything she does too!  So after a long day at school

We decided it was time to do some Halloween decorating.  Once again Jean Paul wanted to do whatever his big sister did; even the posing lol!!!!  Lazy afternoons are why I love.  Just me and my babies spending time together.  We are all excited and ready for another great day at Cajun Field tomorrow!!!! GO UL!!!!

Bubba’s Pumpkin

What a day to be off from work and with my babies!  As soon as school let out I was there to get Leighton and Jean Paul!  Seven nights working over night was long and lonesome.  We headed straight to the cemetery to bring Bubba the pumpkins they picked out for him.  While we were visiting we walked around and straightened up some of the other decorations and headstones.  My sweet Leighton let me know that she wanted to buy more pumpkins and come back and give them to some of the babies to match Braxton.  My heart was bursting with pride!!!!!  So guess where we will be going this weekend?  Yep we will be going back to buy more little pumpkins for her to hand out!!!! I know with all my heart every angel baby will adore the pumpkins she gives them as much as her Big brother in heaven does!!!

Missing Mommy

Only one more night working late and then this Mommy will be reunited with her babies every afternoon for 7 whole days!  This new routine will take some planning and getting used too for sure, but I think we can do it if we all work together.  Leighton and I made a calendar and she placed stickers on all the days Mommy works at night; each day we mark an X over the day after it is done!  This morning Leighton let me know that I only have one more night to work and then lots of nights with her.  If she only knew that I am counting down the days just as much as she is.  I try and keep the morning routine the same for them as much as I can in hopes of some normalcy lol.  So even though I get off at 5 AM from a 12 hour shift I come home to wake them, dress them, snuggle them and bring them to school... just to get as much time as I can with them.  So needless to say we are all ready for tomorrow so we can have lots of time together!!!

Weekend Memories

What a weekend!  Phew so I worked my first full weekend night shift and was beyond tired, but these kids here didn’t miss out on a thing lol.  Between Maw Maw and Pepa’s House, to MiMi and Popa’s House and tons of fun stops in between they had a blast.  I am so blessed to know my kids are so loved.  In between sleepovers and my work and sleep schedule this weekend I still got to join in on some of the fun.  And although it kills me to be away from them like this I know deep down they are getting quality time with their grandparents too.  And as we all know time with loved ones is not promised so we need to soak it up when we can!  My babies loved going to the pumpkin patch on Saturday!  Just to be outside was a treat since we have had nothing but rain lately.  After nap time I suppress them and helped them decorate their big pumpkins they had picked out!  The sweetest part was both of them picked out a tiny pumpkin for Braxton.  I can’t wait to take them to bring it to their brother this weekend!  Sunday was just as fun for them.  I can see now why Leighton loves going shopping with MiMi at Target lol.  Apparently they played dress up and giggled up and down the aisles lol.  Nothing warms my heart more than seeing my babies smile.  

My Sweet Jean Paul

This little boy right here y’all... 

You honestly never know what you are going to get when his eyes open each morning.  We have to literally tip toe into his room and sometimes it feels like we are holding our breath to see if we will be greeted with Jean Paul the sweet teddy bear or Jean Paul the moody monster lol.  I’ve even tried to do the same exact routines in the morning to try and duplicate the happy wake ups but you just never know lol.  The only thing that is guaranteed every single morning lately is that before his eyes even completely open he will tell (not ask) tell you he wants fruit loops.  And for your sanity you should just have those already poured into a bowl and waiting for him lol.  I was very well warned that I should probably not give him the middle name Vincent after my great Grandfather, but stubborn me wanted to honor him so badly.  Well the joke is on me now because I have produced a stubborn/hot tempered clone to the tee lol.  My Mom loves to watch Jean Paul do something fiesty and then giggle under her breath and say “uh huh go ahead give him the middle name Vincent; don’t say I didn’t warn you!”  And yes I say he is a handful, but I hope everyone knows I love him more than life itself.  And if you stick around and get to see his teddy bear side you will completely melt.  He can push me to the limit all day long, but with one sweet thing he can make me completely forget I was mad.  He is beyond loveable and kind hearted.  I can not wait to watch him grow because I know he is going to be an amazing young man before I can blink. 

School Days

Our sweet Leighton Rose took her first school pictures!  Seeing her enjoy school is so amazing to witness.  Besides the normal whining due to tiredness from her new school schedule she is all smiles.  I am also so impressed with how fast she is picking up on new things.  More than anything she is so eager to read.  I can’t wait for the day I get to see her face light up when she reads her first book to us.  Every night she wants to teach Jean Paul something new that she learned at school that day.  Poor thing doesn’t have the most attentive student when it comes to him but he will repeat some of the things she asks him too.  It is beyond precious!  I honestly didn’t think I would get this much joy from watching her do homework, flash cards, recite prayers etc.  The sky is the limit Leighton Rose and we are here to help you achieve any dream you set your heart on!!!

Go Away Virus

Daddy is sick and quarantined to the bedroom today.  Which means dinner is a picnic in the living room, snuggles and movie time with Mom and these two.  They think it’s a big secret we are hidding from Daddy lol.  And since it’s a big secret it makes it lots more fun!!!!!  We have a huge couch, a recliner and two oversized chairs in our living room but on top of me is where they want to be.  No complaints here, just hoping no one else gets sick!!!

Grandparents Day

Grandparents

Grandparents bestow upon their grandchildren 

the strength and wisdom that time

and experience have given them.

Grandchildren bless their Grandparents 

with a youthful vitality and innocence 

that help them stay young at heart forever.

Together they create a chain of love

linking the past with the future.

The chain may lengthen,

but it will never part...

Heavens Address

The scariest thing I think I have learned about grief is how it can sneak up out of no where at anytime.  It’s almost as if it silently waits till it sees you smiling finally or enjoying yourself and then BAM it blindsides you.  It can hit you so hard that you truly begin to question if you should be allowed to enjoy yourself.  From the start of my blog I have always vowed to try and be honest in order to help others.  The honest truth is last night was a hard night for me.  It was a night that left me curled up sobbing as I rocked back and forth aching from the inside out.  If I could of removed my heart from my chest last night I would of.  Just to catch my breath and be pain free for a moment I would of done it.  As I woke this morning my eyes swollen and feeling bruised I couldn’t seem to get myself moving.  I wasn’t hurting from grief anymore but it felt almost like I had a hangover from the pain I felt the night before.  Somehow my children seemed to sense I was unable to get out of bed.  One by one they took turns climbing into bed to snuggle me and both of them actually fell back to sleep with me too.  That is something that never happens.  But as they each took their turn nurturing me they made their way out to the living room and played quietly while Brent laid next to me and tried to coach me to get up and start the day.  I finally made my way out into the living room where I was greeted with the warmest smiles and hugs.  We climbed into the car and headed to the cemetery.  The rain kept us in the car but just being there and hearing Leighton and Jean Paul giggle as they waved out the window through the raindrops made me happy.  After we got home Leighton was anxious to make her Halloween cards with the googly eyes and glue we had purchased during the week.  I made her and Jean Paul 4 cards each to decorate and sat down next to them to help when they needed.  Jean Paul was over it within 10 minutes but Leighton spent over an hour decorating and making sure I told her how to spell everyone’s names on the cards.  With one card left I said ok who is the last one for ?  She looked at me and smiled as she said “Bubba!”  Oh that is perfect I told her as I caught myself smiling just as much as her.  Perfect idea I said as I explained that we could go back tomorrow and deliver it to the cemetery too.

“Can you just get Heavens address Mommy so I can mail it to Bubba?”

Without having enough time to think of a response I heard myself saying.

“I sure can baby!”

She quickly took out more markers and wrote her name in the return address spot just like I had explained to her a few weeks ago.  And then she sat there ready and waiting as she looked at me and said,

“How do you spell Heaven?”

I may of cried myself to sleep last night but I found my smile many times today. 

Oh how I wish we truly could mail letters to Heaven, but for now I have a 4 year old little girl who truly believes she can.  I will do my part to make her wish come true!

  It was all I needed today to make me feel 

I am doing ok,

and

 I am going to be ok!

One day at a time!

All Is Right In That Moment

There are still days that I question everything. 

 The sadness, anxiousness and heartache can drown me so fast.

  But lately those days end up with moments like this one in the picture.  

Moments where all my questions disappear because in them I see him, 

I feel him 

and I even get to know him.  

And because of them, 

in that moment all is right in my world.

We are perfect...

Even with our imperfections!!!

New Family Outings

Mommy has started working the night shift y’all!  I truly understand now what my Mom and Dad meant when they would say “One day you will see that you do what you have to for your family!”  I never dreamed that I would work this schedule, but here I am at 37 with 2 toddlers at home and I’m  working the 5 PM - 5 AM shift.  Please don’t even feel sorry for me though because I am still thanking God for all the unanswered prayers these last few months.  I truly thought I was done and I was more than worried and anxious worrying what was next for me.  I prayed nightly to be able to keep my job even though I felt unappreciated and unhappy.  Some of my coworkers literally were my oxygen keeping me sane the last few years with their friendship and help.  Little did I know God would push me into a place to work and provide for my family; all while being surrounded with amazing new coworkers and friends.  So I may not be where I imagined I would be 15 years ago, but I am proud and happy to be where I am in this new chapter that I embarking on!  So with new schedules comes new ways to spend time together as a family before work sometimes.  Tonight we got to do homework at Agave with chips and dip and lots of giggles!!!!!  Oh and we are also finally stepping into the phase where Brent and I can enjoy eating out with our kids.  They are really learning how to behave and be respectful in public... FINALLY LOL.  Although Daddy decided to knock over his whole Diet Coke that fell right onto Jean Paul as he squealed at the top of the lungs before he burst out in tears because it was so cold!  So yes now are kids are acting right but Mom and Dad are causing a scene lol!!!

Work Hard For Your Money

Our first Book Fair experience was a success... thanks to Maw Maw lol!!!  Sounds like it should be simple, just an elementary book fair right????  Sure it is until you throw in about 300 other kids running around trying to persuade their parents to buy them tons of books!  And we can’t forget the help of the teachers who so graciously let the kids make a list of 5 books they really wanted, but then leave it up to us parents to break the kids little hearts when we tell them 5 books is really to many lol.  Anyway it turned out to be lots of fun and a great fundraiser for our school!  So cheers to Maw Maw for agreeing to tag along so we could each take one child to chase after.   The cutest thing was seeing Leighton and all her little friends running and hugging each other when they noticed another one had arrived.  It also was a great way to get both of my kids to help out around the house this past week.  We let each of them decorate an envelope and challenged ( or bribed whichever way you want to see it ) them to do good, help or not whine and then they could earn a dollar to add to their book fair stash!  Now you must know they both earned quite a few dollars, but they also had some taken out of the envelope too!  Jean Paul had to give back a little more than Leighton but who is keeping track right lol!!!  Anyway I think it actually was a great way to give them a goal to reach for because they sure were proud to walk into the library today with their envelopes of hard earned money!!!  Leighton found a way to jump start her cash though... she’s no dummy lol.  She went straight to the source; her Great grandfather Paw Paw Grape!!!  I on the other hand was always afraid to call and ask him for money when I wanted something, but this girl learned quick that he loves to spoil his grandkids!!!!  And like he said “You never know till you ask!”  And once she asked and he agreed to help her fill her envelope with some money she got busy making another list of books; and a thank you note of course!

Sick Baby Girl

Last night right after midnight I heard little feet dragging across the floor and when I finally saw Leighton standing in the door way my heart hurt for her as she stood there crying saying “Mommy my tummy hurts so bad.”  Earlier that evening we had let the kids have a movie night on the air mattress in the den with us so since it was still up I told her she could lay with me and snuggle till she fell back asleep.  Well sadly she couldn’t get comfortable enough to ever fall back asleep.  About 30 minutes later I told her to wait there while Mommy went into the bathroom to find the heating pad for her to use.  As I came back into the living room with the heating pad once again I found my little girl standing there crying.  “I’m so sorry Mommy it is just a little bit I tried to stop it.”  Poor baby had thrown up a lot, it was down her pajama arm and even in her hair.  As I stripped her I told her it was ok that it happens and that’s probably why her stomach hurt so bad.  When I turned the corner I was shocked to see the whole air mattress completely covered on one side. Ok operation clean up go time.  I stripped the bed and wiped it down with cleaner and threw everything including her pajamas into the wash.  I got her into my bathroom with the heater on and told her to stay there while I mopped the floor real quick.  I had to have her shower because I couldn’t imagine her sitting in that dirty tub water and I didn’t want her to use her bathtub because it is back to back with Jean Paul’s wall and the last thing we needed was him joining this party lol.  When I got her into the shower she just kept apologizing and telling me it wasn’t me it was the throw up that did it.  Broke my heart because she was so worried about me being upset she wasn’t even hearing me tell her it was ok.  So of course I had to snuggle with her all night and keep her home for more rest and snuggles.  As of today she was back to her normal self.  There is something weird about loving them needing you when they are sick but at the same time hating when they are sick!!!!  But I will take her snuggles anytime and she can always count on me when she wants them too!!!!

Rainy Sunday

Well me and the kids took Pajama Day to a whole new level today lol.  We stayed in our pj’s all day long and only took them off to bathe and put fresh ones on!!!  With the rain on and off we decided it was best just to enjoy a lazy day together.  We played board games, did puzzles, made arts and crafts, enjoyed play-do time inside, managed to clean a little, laughed at Jean Paul pretending to be a robot most of the day, ate pretend food they cooked me up in the play kitchen, took naps and then enjoyed pizza night with daddy when he got home!!!!  Nothing was done today unless the wanted to do it... and I must say it was a great day!!

Southern Saturdays

Rain or shine my little Cajuns love our Southern Saturday traditions!!!!!

Perfect Afternoon

Nothing beats an afternoon with your Maw Maw & Pepa!  Working late hours may be hard on us but these babies are taking full advantage of some of the perks... such as more time with Maw Maw & Pepa lol!!!!  As long as their happy I’m happy. It warms my heart to see them adore their grandparents as much as I always have!  Time is precious; believe me I know that all to well, so I’m going to agree to be over tired for years just to spend time with my family!!!!

Hugs Help

Just when you start to doubt yourself the smallest things can recharge you!  Leighton Rose I do not know what I did to deserve you, but your kind heart makes me so proud to be your Mommy.  With so much change going on lately I am truly in awe at how my kids are the ones that keep me going.  Tonight as I was on my hands and knees searching for an earring I dropped I heard myself start to get agitated.  My frustration wasn’t just because of the earring it is probably a build up of stress and feeling helpless to so many things that are truly out of my control.  Leighton popped into the room and said “Mommy don’t you worry I will help you find that in the morning.  Right now you need a hug to make it better!”  She was so right.  Crazy how a 4 year olds hug can put things into perspective.

  I may not be enough for everyone else, but to her I am more than enough!!!! 

 Made me ask myself...

Why do I constantly fight for approval from others when the little ones right in front of me approve of me just the way I am!!!!

There You Are

Dance, Dance, Dance

This girl here is something else!  All day everyday she will dance if you let her.  She tells me she practices so she can be better and better and one day do her own stuff in the big stage lol.  Leighton has only had one Dance Revue in the books and this chick is ready for a solo.  She was crying this weekend because no one let her pick what “sassy moves” she wanted to do on stage.  Ummmmmmm she has a hard lesson coming if she thinks a solo is any time soon lol.  I honestly am super impressed with her freestyle dancing and the way she dances with the music.  She has no desire to be in any other activities which I will make her try, but right now she fights me word for word every time stressing “I JUST WANT TO DANCE!” Lol!!!!!!  And to top it all off she informed me today with some pretty funny info!

Me:  Leighton when do you practice all these amazing dances you show me every night?

Leighton:  Mom I already told you.

Me:  Oh I must of forgot already.  Tell me again.

Leighton:  I told you I lay under the tree or on the concrete ( or concreek as she calls it ) at 3rd recess.

Me:  Um yes you did but that is not practicing if you are laying down lol???

Leighton:  Yes it is!  I lay down in the shade and think dance, dance, dance inside my cute little head cause it is just toooooo hot to play!

Ohhhhhhhhhh wow ok so how do I hide the tears when I’m dying laughing so hard I can barely breathe.  She has been telling me how hot the last recess is but if she is practicing dancing without even moving....  I can’t even handle it y’all I’m dying laughing again just thinking of her telling me this!!!!  But I will say she may be on to something because she is pretty darn good for mind practicing!!!!

How Is Potty Training Going You Ask????

Literally this picture sums it up beautifully!  I was beyond proud of my recent Paw Patrol Potty Seat purchase this week and could not wait to give it to Jean Paul.  Yes selfishly I was more excited because I thought it would work to my benefit in this potty training war he and I are in lately.  This kid will actually walk into the bathroom and flush the toilet and look at me with his hands up and say “Oh nope, no candy today Jean Paul!”  Which in toddler terms means you lose Mom cause I would rather not even try and forfeit the candy you sonsaybwill give me if I sit on that thing.  So I guess I got what deserved when this was his reaction to his new seat!!!!!  Yep it even included a happy dance in circles all the while it was around his neck.  He thought he was so cute spinning and laughing with his seat on like a Mardi Gras bead!  Well he wasn’t laughing when we had to get that thing off!!!!  I wanted to cry with him cause his ears just would not let him remove it poor thing.  So now I can guarantee he will be scared to even sit on it lol.  So we will have to see what happens next!!!!!