You Should Of Known Better

So most people know and still to this day question why my best friend is Brent Carlson.  If you don’t know him then you will not understand this post at all lol.  To say he is my best friend is a true understatement, but it’s the truth and I’ve never hid it.  I can not tell you how many times I’ve have heard

 “Carlson... well Sarah you should of known better lol!”

  So when he called today to tell me he was bringing over Jean Paul’s birthday present I should of actually been worried due to the past lol.  

So as I sit here and repeatedly have to shoot nerf darts across my living room because:

1) this dart gun is way to big for a 2 year old

and

2) after each shot Jean Paul is so excited to bring it back to me and say “Do Again”

I can’t help but say to myself:

  Sarah when you asked him to be Jean Paul’s Godfather....

“You should of known better!”

And when he called you today and told you he got your baby boy a BB gun and you told him no so he showed up with  not one but two nerf guns....

“You should of known better!”

LOL!!!

But what I do know better than anyone else is that he is the best friend a girl could of ever asked for and he loves my kids like they are his own.  When my sweet Braxton entered heaven I held him for hours through the night after everyone who had been at the hospital all day for support went their separate ways.  And before the sun was even up the next morning; the morning we were going to have to say our last goodbyes to our son, my cell phone rang.  My best friends voice on the other end made me burst into tears as I heard him say “I know today will be hard and is for you and your family only, but I am in the parking tower if you need me!”  I guess I couldn’t speak through the tears fast enough because I then heard “And I have donuts lol!” Within minutes he was by my side again.  Although he had been there the whole day before and late into the night, he was back.  Now looking back I don’t know how he knew I needed him, but I have to smile as I think to myself:

“Now Sarah..... you should of known better!”

My Baby Boy Is Two

Hold him a little longer

Rock him a little more

Read him another story

You ‘ve only read him four

Let him sleep on your shoulder

Rejoice in his happy smile

He is only a 

LITTLE BOY

For such a little while

Happy Birthday Jean Paul Vincent!!!!

Mommy loves you bigger than the sky!

Jean Paul’s Birthday Eve

Exactly 2 years ago on this very night I was packing a bag for the hospital.  I was preparing to welcome my 3rd miracle into this world.  The anxiety was overwhelming and the fears were beyond control.  But at some point I had to agree to give it all to God.  Even though I was headed to the exact hospital that I became a Mother in and the exact hospital I had to leave without a baby in my arms 4 years before.  In between those 4 years I did give birth to a daughter, where I also had to face the same fears that still haunted me now.  And as scary as this was I remember the excitement that I felt too.  This was another chance from God to experience a miracle given to me no matter how long the grace period may be.  As I prepared for Jean Paul’s arrival I also had to arrange care for Leighton as well, which was something I had never had to do before.  Being that my entire family would be at the hospital for Jean Paul’s birth I had to look to my closest friends to help me.  Immediately one of my dearest friends; Casey, offered to help.  She asked to drop off Leighton and pick her up as well from daycare, she said she could do anything we needed in order to help.  Beyond grateful I accepted her help: but I remember thinking I couldn’t wait till it was her turn to be a Mom as well.  But what I didn’t know was that her time was coming sooner than we thought.  Casey had just recently accepted full responsibility and willingness to be on the foster care provider list.  This meant she had accepted and obtained all requirements to legally become a foster parent.  Excited and proud all of our friends and family waited patiently for the perfect child to come into her/our lives.  Since I was scheduled for a C-section it was understood I would stay a minimum 3 nights in the hospital.  I recall Casey coming to visit twice and getting a call while she visited one of those times.  Sadly the call did not work out in bringing home a baby, but within hours the perfect call came in.  And I don’t think I could make this up even if I wanted to write the perfect story, but one of my best friends and I ended up bringing home  baby boys on the same exact day.  Not only was this a dream come true but this was also one of my best friends that I also know was one of the most deserving ones too!  So selfishly two years ago I laid in this exact bed praying for my own sons health and safety not knowing that God had so much more planned for us.  I will never forget it or be able to repay her for what she has done for me in the form of friendship but I pray that her and Hayden feel the love we have for them every single day.  I do not think that I could of ever dreamed this would of been our reality today.  Two boys beyond different in looks, personalities and stories.... but the same in faith, hope and love!!!!  And much greater than that a friendship and bond that can not be bought!!!

After the mini party we had for Jean Paul’s birthday eve I can’t forget my birthday helper Leighton!  Ever since I can remember my Mom always made my brother and I’s birthdays special and memorable.  And that meant it was never complete without a birthday banner.  Five and a half years ago my Mom and I handmade a birthday banner for Braxton’s first birthday and ever since then I vowed to use it for all of my babies birthday morning celebrations.  Well this year was the first year I had help carrying on our little tradition as my little girl is almost 4 and beyond willing to help me!!!!  So after Jean Paul was fast asleep her and I hung the birthday banner and I told her the story of how and where this special banner began.  She tried to tell me she had helped for many birthdays, including Braxton’s first birthday.  This led to the story of how her and all her siblings became mine and daddy’s.  These are the moments that sometimes make me face the hardest facts, but these are also the moments I am most thankful for.  Just me and my daughter talking about her big brother and my first born son!!!!!

It Starts From Day One

After this weekend looking back on so many memories of my little brother growing up this picture sums it up completely!!!  From day one your little brother always is the big sisters biggest fan!!!  Jean Paul literally just turned into her groupie while she performed in the living room tonight.  No matter what she sang or how she sang it he was right there excited to hear it all!  

The Perfect Flower Girl

This weekend was spent witnessing my brother marry the love of his life.  I can’t wait to go through pics to post this week.  My whole family was honored to be a part of this big day!  But today as the happy couple drove off to start their new lives as husband and wife Leighton fulfilled her last duty as Poorain and Ney Ney’s flower girl!  She brought Bubba flowers from the wedding and as I listened to her tell him that she did a good job for the wedding and giggle as she told him about the loud music and dancing all night long I caught myself crying.  The tears were a mixture of emotions from such a special weekend.  But even though I wish more than anything Braxton could of been at his Godfathers wedding in person last night I know he was smiling down on him the entire time!  And as Leighton laid the 3 roses on his headstone today my heart felt proud knowing no matter what we always find a way to include him no matter what!

Today’s The Day

Poorain and Ney Ney are getting married today!

Happy Day

I don’t know if I could if asked for a better birthday!  I am so touched by all the birthday wishes I received today!  I have by far the best family and friends a girl could ever have!!!