Their Mom

I see myself as a mom first.

I’m so lucky to have that role in life.

The world can like me, 

hate me 

or fall apart around me.

At least I can wake up with my kids and say I’m happy.

Cute Cajuns

I have to say these are the cutest Cajuns in Louisiana!!!!  Not only do my babies love the Ragin Cajuns they love them some b-ball!  Any UL function gets them so excited!  Love these Cajun babies with all my heart!!!!

The Small Things Mean The Most

I don’t care who you are or what you go through in life sometimes the smallest things still mean the most.  And personally to me those small things are actually the biggest blessings I call my family.  It is no secret my brother has always been one of my biggest supporters; to a point where he could be known as my own personal fan club leader.  I do not know how I could ever do this life without him and I pray he feels the same exact way about me.  In one of the most old fashioned ways known to man; a delivered bouquet of roses, he simply let me know he loves me.  That simple message reminded me of how blessed I am in this world that can be hard and ugly at times.  I have been an open book for the last 6 years by admitting I am clueless to how I have survived some of the curve balls  I have been thrown, and I am admitting it again now... 

but with Faith, Hope and Love and the greatest of these is LOVE...

I will not fear what is yet to be!

Knowing you are loved is far more comforting than anything else in my eyes.  Which brings me back to the day I had to hand over my precious baby boy back to Jesus; I know in my heart the love he felt that day as he took his last breath was far greater than any pain or fear he ever felt.   

The strength I have gained from witnessing that will fuel me for a lifetime!!!

Ready To See What Is Next For Us

Brent sent me this picture tonight knowing I have had an incredibly hard day.  Sunsets have always been his sign from Braxton that he is with us.

His text simply said

 “we will get through anything we ever need to together. “

It got me thinking about how true his words are.  

I’ve battled my whole life to become the strong woman I am today.  

I’ve also battled with loving the same strong woman I consider myself to be.

So if you think you can take me down after all I’ve been through,

 give it your best shot.

You will not succeed.

And with the friends and family I have loving me in my corner 

I will rise above

 no matter what!!!!

The Unknowns Can Be Scary

There are so many days that I look back and honestly do not know how I made it to the next.  The unknowns were so scary and so hard that I seriously can not believe I am where I am today!  And still today I struggle and I am not afraid to admit that anymore.  Honestly allowing myself to admit that there are still days I barely survive because of the pain I still fell has helped me more than anything.  And like most things in life there will always be “unknowns” but today I let myself enjoy the things I know most right now!

  And that is knowing...
I am trying to be the best Mommy I can be for my babies.
I get to feel their love day in and day out unconditionally.
I will always be able to share Braxton’s story with them openly and freely.
I made the right choices for my family to be who we are today.
I am loved
I am weak at times yet I am strong at times
I am hurting from loss yet I am healing from loss
I am scared to move forward yet I am moving forward at my own pace
I am who I am because of what I have been through
I am somebody amazing to the three miracles who matter most:
1) Braxton
2) Leighton
3) Jean Paul
And that is what I smiled about today.. a few things I know!

You Are So Right Baby Girl

Saturday was Leighton’s fourth birthday!  I still can’t believe my baby girl is 4 years old.  The picture here popped up on my Facebook and I was so excited to show her how tiny she was.  As I showed her she started smiling and started telling me that she was so little when she met me.  

I told her “You are so right baby girl!” 

 Then she looked at me and asked, 

Mommy was that the first time you ” holded ” me???
Quietly she sat there smiling from ear to ear and calmly she said...
“And Mommy, that was the last place you got to hold Bubba too?”
Shocked I didn’t know what to say as I heard her repeat the question.
All I could say was
“You are so right baby girl!”
As much as I wanted to tell her every little detail of Bubba’s Special day I simply smiled at her and told her again..
“You are so right baby girl that is the same place I got to hold Bubba for the first time and the last!  It was just as wonderful as the day I first got to hold you!”

I am still blown away by how intuitive she truly is!  I know her heart is more pure than I could ever imagine and that makes my heart so happy!

Leighton Rose,
You don’t know this,
but you saved me;
from myself
and from the idea
that I wasn’t worthy
of a love like yours!

He Is Risen

Jesus gave us Easter

as a reminder of how

beautiful life

can be after death

What a wonderful day we had together as a family!

At the end of the day we completed our Easter with our family tradition;

reading the book that Braxton leaves us every year among all of our Easter goodies...

God Gave Us Easter!!!