In Honor Of

Each day that passes without my sweet boy scares me more and more that he is forgotten little by little.  It is easy for me to remember him because I wake with him on my mind and lay my head on my pillow praying to him to help me through the next day every single night.  And the hours in between are no different.  I do not expect others to think of him every single moment of every single day because life does go on and I get that.  But as years go by it is painful to think to some he almost never existed.  I know in my heart that our family and friends love him and think of him, but as a grieving mother you just want your baby recognized like everyone elses.  So the little things that happen that involve Braxton make my heart happier than I can explain.  Even just hearing someone speak his name can fuel me with enough pride for months.  I only have his memory, pictures, a few of his items he actually touched and my faith to cling to.  So having him honored is more than a gift to me, it is acknowledgement.  It is an acknowledgement that he existed.  To honor someone does not always have to be in the form of money, gifts or events.  Sometimes it is just simply talking about them with the person who they meant the most too.  We usually have between 3-8 pieces of mail in our mailbox a day.  And like most people a majority of it is junk mail LOL.  The kids are enjoying our afternoon routine of unloading from daycare and then helping me get the mail.  They don't stop there either, it is a mad dash to see how fast we can open everything.  I have to make sure we open the envelopes one at a time because a bill can and has been lost due to their methods.  So as Leighton opened a small envelope this week as we were sitting on our driveway I was still looking over the one Jean Paul had opened before her.  I heard "See Jean Paul it's a pretty card... See?"  As I looked over I told her it was a very pretty card as she handed it to me asking me to read it to them.  As I read the few simple lines within the card my eyes swelled with tears.  The words felt like a tight hug saying we love you and we love him.  In that moment I may have been crying, but I was crying because he was remembered.

You are Loved

You are Missed

You are Remembered

My Sweet Boy!