Goodbyes Are Hard

Goodbyes 

are not forever.

Goodbyes

are not the end.

They simply mean

I'll miss you,

until we

meet again!

Another sign from our sweet boy that he is waiting at Heaven's gates to meet our loved ones.  Please keep my Husband's family in your prayers tonight as they prepare to say goodbye to a very special loved one.

Teaching Maw Maw To Count

Some days Maw Maw just can't stay away!  But we never complain on those days lol.  The kids were a little bummed to not even be home from school and work before it turned dark tonight.  Leighton was extremely confused and even asked why I was so late.  Poor thing couldn't understand why we didn't have the normal outside time like we usually do.  So through the whining I tried to serve them dinner which was not very successful.  And just as we were close to all having a break down Maw Maw walked through the door.  BAM all smiles!!  She only stayed for about an hour but it was what we all needed for sure.  In that hour we did  puzzles, showed her our artwork from school today, listened to Bubba's song on the radio, ate some toast and taught her how to play our new counting game the kids got for completing a good behavior chart this weekend!!!  So it's pretty safe to say Maw Maw saved the day..... AGAIN!  Even though we only live about 20 minutes apart I still wish it was next door so that we could see her and Pepa all the time.  For now we will just count our blessings that we live as close as we do and we will enjoy the surprise visits as often as we can!!!!  P.S. I needed the visit as much as the kids did!!!

This Time Change Got Us

So I have never understood the whole time change thing and kind of always thought people sounded silly when it said it messed with their sleep routines.  That is until I had kids.  It is crazy how it affects them so much.  Last night Mimi and Poppa kept our kiddos so we could host my brother and his fiance's engagement party.  Welllllllll poor things offered to babysit on the time change night LOL.  Jean Paul apparently was up at 3:30 AM and wasn't wanting to hear anything about going back to sleep.  Mimi said they decided to just wake up and read the paper and start the day!  about 2 1/2 hours later after playing and being silly she looked over and saw these two on the couch LOL.  Just like that they were passed out cold.  She was so tickled that he fell asleep like that because she knows that boy does not just sleep anywhere.  Most of all because he never wants to miss anything and will stay awake until he is forced to slow down when we put him in bed.  Our kids love going to Mimi and Poppa's so much.  Not only do they get to play, watch movies and eat good but they usually come home with something new.  I pray they always love their special time with their Grandparents, because that time is so important.  It's also a great feeling knowing they are so loved and having so much fun when we are away!  Oh and they always seem to nap amazing when they return from Mimi and Poppa's house too LOL.  I don't know what it is but today was the same, they both took 3 1/2 hour naps which NEVERRRRRRR happens.  And I can't like Brent and I napped with them since we had such a busy weekend and late night last night followed by an early morning breakfast with some of our family members that stayed in town last night!  Please pray for us that tonight goes smoothly since everyone is off schedule with this silly time change!

Pop The Champagne

POP THE CHAMPAGNE HE IS CHANGING HER LAST NAME!

So excited to start wedding festivities for my brother and soon to be sister in law!  I can't wait to watch y'all conquer the world together.  Wish I had time to write a post telling y'all exactly how much both of you mean to me, Brent, Braxton, Leightin and Jean Paul but I have a party to get to so I'll save the sappy words for another day!  

We love y'all bigger than the sky!

 

Friday Nights

We didn't realize

we were making memories.

We just thought

that we were having fun!

Sibling Love

There is so much in my life that I am beyond blessed to have, but I do not know if I have shared one of my oldest blessings.  This blessing has been in my life for 30 years!  I can still remember the day he came into my life I do not think there was anyone more proud than me that day.  I prayed and prayed and prayed for him for so long.  You see for 6 whole years I was an only child.  To say I wanted a baby brother is an understatement because it was more than a want it was a need.  To the point that my parents may of had a huge problem on their hands if he would of been a girl lol.  I do not even know how to begin to describe what my brother; Robert, means to me.  A lot of people have always assumed that since we were not close in age that we are not close.  Well it is the complete opposite.  All our lives we have been extremely close and the perfect team.  Of course we had the normal sibling feuds growing up, but honestly there were not many.  I have never had someone else truly love me for me all of my life.  He not only has been my partner through so much, he has had to be my protector and my shield many times too.  It was not until we lost Braxton that I began to understand what I meant to him.  I always knew he meant more than life to me and I always knew he loved me just as much.... but it wasn't until he saw me go through something so painful that he opened up and I saw myself through his eyes.  I am still actually very moved and honored with what he explained to me my worth to him is.  Through tears I remember telling him one time that I was sorry I had let him down.  I truly felt like I was not the strong older sister anymore because at that time I felt so completely lost.  I can still see him sitting across from me wiping his own tears and then looking down and away the way he always does when he can't fight back crying anymore.  Next the words that came out of his mouth shocked me more than almost anything I had ever heard.  He began to explain how he was confused with God and his doing?  My heart ached as I listened to him try and defend me and how I had been done wrong in his eyes.  He was struggling emotionally with what his beliefs were now.  Almost devastated I asked him why he thought that maybe he didn't have it in him to believe in God anymore?  I even tried to plead with him about does this mean he didn't believe my Braxton; his Godchild, was even in heaven?  He calmly told me he believes with all his heart that Braxton is in heaven, but that he was still very torn in his relationship with God.  Crushed I felt like again I had been the one to let him down, because of what I was going through he may never feel the same way about his religion or faith.  In his own words he told me: " Sis if God can allow this to happen to you; my sister, the greatest person I have ever known... then I don't know if there is a God.  Because you are the last person that should ever have to hurt this way.  It is not fair."  In that moment I did not see a 25 year old man, I saw the little boy that I grew up with.  The little boy that still saw me as his big sister, the greatest person on Earth.  For the first time in my life I saw my worth in someone else eyes, and it was pure, it was real and it was true love!  I never knew that he didn't see any of my faults as we grew up and boy do I have some I jokingly tried to tell him.  He would not hear me and argued over and over with me till I finally had to just let him have his vision of me being the big sister he has always believed me to be.  I tried to tell him that I felt in my heart God did not do this to me or Braxton, yet he blessed me with something much greater.  He blessed me with the honor of being a Mother to an Angel, an Angel he felt was needed in heaven more.  I heard myself describing my journey as being more than fair because it was something I was trusted with because of how strongly I believed that we would be together again.  I knew I had been distant from God for a very long time and that this was him calling me back to him.  Hearing those words come out of my mouth was more profound and eye opening to me than I can explain.  Until that moment I didn't even know I even believed it all myself.  I needed this conversation more than he did I know that now.  I also tried to explain to him that I needed him to believe more than ever now, because I needed him to truly believe Braxton is in heaven.  I also remember beginning to yell because I was so scared that this would scar him forever.  The conversation ended with lots of tears and hugs and Robert agreeing that in his own time he too would try to understand his beliefs and also his trust in God.  He may not be to happy with me sharing this special moment with everyone, but I feel like it is beyond important to show how many people are affected by loss and grief.  Everyone goes through so much and it is all in their own time.  And during their pain and hurt they have the right to question everything, even God.  I believe that with all my heart because there are still days I find myself doing the same.  All journeys in life are lessons.  And at the right time we will learn from them and take what we needed from them to grow.  I have no right to question anyone with what they feel or believe because I know in my heart I have not always lived the faithful life God had planned for me.  I am still learning just like everyone else, but as long as I can be there for my brother as he finds his way then I know he will find his way when the time is right.  I selfishly thought I was hurting more than anyone else and some days I still have that mindset.  But the truth is our loved ones hurt just as much, and sometimes maybe even more because they have to watch the ones they love most hurt with no way of truly fixing their pain.  And as Robert described... "it is an extremely helpless feeling."  I am beyond proud to have the brother I was blessed with 30 years ago.  I love him more than I ever think I was supposed to be programmed to love him, but he is so worth every bit of love and happiness this world can give him.  I pray every single night that my kids have the same relationship with each other like I do with Robert.  The love between siblings is beyond comparison and irreplaceable.  Thank you Robert John O'Meara for always loving me for me; I hope you know that you will always be more than just a little brother to me!

"To the outside world, we all grow old.

But not to brothers and sisters.  

We know each other as we always were.

We know each other's hearts.

We share private family jokes.

We remember family feuds and secrets,

family griefs and joys.

We live outside the touch of time."

All Saints Day

Every year on All Saints' Day Maw Maw goes to the blessing of the graves for her sweet lil man.  I go every year I can depending on work, but Maw Maw has never missed a year.  She has promised me that for as long as she is capable she will be there every year to honor our own special Saint Braxton Michael Bergeron.  It hurts so bad when I am unable to attend, but I do know that this is a very special day for Braxton and Maw Maw and sometimes it is just reserved for them.  And even though it stormed all day long Maw Maw kept her promise to Braxton and was there to be with him for the blessing of the graves at the cemetery today.... umbrella and all!  

All Saints' Day is a solemn holy day of the Catholic Church celebrated annually on November 1.  The day is dedicated to the saints of the Church, that is, all those who have attained heaven. 

Brent and I always agreed that we would include a Saints' name as the middle name for every child we were blessed with.  It was something that was very important for us to do for them as we raise them in the Catholic Church.  Not only do all three of our kids have Saint's names in them, they also are names that are very meaningful to us through our family history as well.  I  know they will carry these special names proudly all their lives and the day the enter heaven be honored to have them still.

Braxton Michael Bergeron

Saint Michael the Archangel,

defend us in battle;

be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.

May God rebuke him, we humbly pray:

and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly host,

by the power of God,

thrust into hell Satan and all the evil spirits

who prowl about the world seeding the win of souls.

Leighton Rose Bergeron

A Prayer for St. Rose,

Help me to remember what is really important:

that I am Your child

You are my Father

You love me for who I am and how I live

not what I look like or what I own.

Let me praise You who sees into my heart,

Who is always with me

and Who eases my suffering.

Jean Paul Vincent Bergeron

Prayer to Saint Vincent De Paul,

beloved servant of the poor,

may we follow your example and do good works

among those whom society has abandoned,

enslaved, or forgotten.

Inspire us to feed the hungry,

to love a child,

to provide comfort and medicine to the sick,

to clothe those whose garments are threadbare,

and to offer hope and our Lord's words

to all who need respite.

Pray for us to our beloved God

that we may commit ourselves selflessly 

to doing the same charitable acts

that you did all your life,

and intercede with him

that we may have the favor of his guidance

and strength and love upon

the important and meaningful work.