Traditions Are What You Make Them

So yes I'm a girl who likes a plan, likes checking off things on to do lists, and even likes to plan when to make the to do lists!!!  Call me crazy but it's always been who I am lol!  Maybe that's why I also love traditions!!!!  Cause in a way they are kinda like something planned each year like clock work!  But to me the best traditions are the ones that weren't done the first time to become a tradition, then you look back and years later it evolved into one.... Those are the best kind!  Our live wreath that hangs on my door starting at the beginning of every December is one of those traditions.  I can't remember exactly how many years this one has been around but it's one I wait for each year.  It's always within the first week of December and it always comes as a surprise when my Dad stops by for an unplanned visit with our Christmas wreath!  Some years it has been hanging on my door before I even get home.  Well this year I kind of think we may have added on to our Christmas Wreath tradition.  After we all got excited from the knock at the door followed by Pepa standing there holding our wreath when we opened it  Leighton asked him to read her a Christmas book!  Even though it was already past her bedtime Pepa could not tell her no.  So she brought him a book and hopped up on the couch next to him while her read to her.  The next morning Leighton jumped out of bed to see if her wreath was still hanging on the door where Pepa had put it!  Super excited she ran to get Jean Paul to show him since he was already asleep when it had been delivered.  Then she ran to the book shelf and brought me the book Pepa had read her the night before and very proudly she said "See Mommy this is the book Pepa read me, it's the first Christmas book yet!"  And right then and there I knew our tradition had grown into more than just the delivery of our wreath!  Now every year I hope  Pepa will start the Christmas season off by reading the first Christmas book yet!

Happy Birthday Mom

Because of you

I have never gone a day

without knowing 

I am loved!

All that I am

or hope to be,

I owe to my Mother!

Happy Biethday Mom you mean more to me than I could ever describe!  I don't know how I could be where I am today without you by my side.  I can only hope and pray that Leighton and I have half the relationship/friendship that you and I share!

Love you bigger than the sky!

2011 Our First & Last Christmas With Braxton

Time For Mommy To Decorate 

Every year Braxton gets his very own Christmas Tree and this year is no different!  May sound silly to some but it is something that is very special to me.  I can remember the very first year we had to celebrate Christmas without our sweet baby boy!  It was so drastically different from just one year before at Christmas time.  The year before I remember decorating my tree while Brent went to get his boat from his Dad's shop for a fishing trip the next day.  It was also the first year that the Cajuns were headed to the Superdome for the New Orleans Bowl.  As I tried to string the lights on the tree while shaking with excitement for the surprise I had for Brent when he got home.  I have never been good at keeping secrets when it comes to big surprises.  And this one was by far the biggest surprise of our lives.  When Brent pulled in the driveway he acted in true Brent fashion and took what felt like hours to finally make his way inside.  When he came around the corner into the living room he commented on the tree and how it was coming along nicely.  Then he glanced at the couch and said "Who is that present for?"  Nice and calmly I told him it was for him.  He of course started questioning why I had a gift for him 4 weeks before Christmas LOL.  I told him it was nothing big just something I got for him for the New Orleans Bowl since we were finally in a big game!  I will never forget him sitting on the couch opening the gift that held a red cajuns onesie that read " Rookie 1/2 " on the back.  Confused and dumbfounded he looked at me as tears fell down my face without speaking a word.  As he started to put the pieces together in his head I watched his whole body start to quiver as he quietly said "NO? NO? IT CAN'T BE?"  As I sobbed I told him"YES YES YES IT CAN!!!!"  I can still feel the pounding of my heart as I got to give my husband the best Christmas present in the world.... the news that we were finally pregnant.  You see the road at that point had not been easy for us in many ways.  At that time we had been married for 3 1/2 years and had tried for a good 2 years to get pregnant.  Many Dr. appointments and tests/procedures to find out what and why it was not happening for our family.  And then due to the strain of trying to get pregnant we then faced a long year of being drawn apart.  The heartache of wanting a baby so bad had brought out the bad in our relationship.  To the point of even separating because we did not know each other anymore.  This Christmas was literally only a month after we had decided to whole heartedly give "US" one more shot.  We didn't even have the baby talk in our relationship we were truly trying to just work on us.  But as they say "God was in control the whole time!"  Within minutes we had re-wrapped the onesie and headed out to share the news with both of our families.  I will never forget that night!  The tears, the excitement and the knowing that we were going to be ok was so powerful.  Little did we know that within months our whole world would be completely shattered.  As hard as it is to admit this was our last Christmas we would ever be this happy.  I am so grateful for God allowing us to not know what was coming, because that Christmas was so perfect for us.  Now looking back it was our first Christmas with Braxton but sadly it was unknowingly our last Christmas with him as well.  It was also the first time I would ever be allowed to see my husbands true surprise reaction when I shared we were pregnant but sadly it was unknowingly the last time I would ever get to truly announce a surprise pregnancy to him as well.  That Christmas was the first time I got to envision my baby being involved in our next year traditions but sadly it was unknowingly the last time that my vision would be a reality.  It was the first and the last for so many feelings and emotions.  And as I sit here and write this post I sadly have to admit it was the last time I ever felt the Christmas magic that I remember feeling as a child.  No Christmas will ever be the same when you have lost a child.  A piece of you is missing and lost forever.  That is when Braxton's Tree became a tradition for us.  Each year Brent picks a tree and brings it to the cemetery.  It is he and Braxton's thing and I will never try and take that from him.  At some point I receive a text with a picture letting me know my sweet boy has his tree.  At that time I pick a day to go and decorate it for him; that is my time with him.  And in the weeks leading up to Christmas friends and family bring him a special ornament and hang it on his tree.  Today I excitedly showed my close friend and coworker the picture of Braxton's tree being put up and we couldn't help but reminiscence.  The very first year he got his tree we were so naive with the whole process.  Now we can giggle about it but back then it was truly hard for me.  Every day I would go and check on his tree and almost everyday it was laying on the ground.  Then some days his lights would not work etc.  But I am proud to announce that now in 2017 we have perfected our skills and Braxton's tree will never be unlit or down again LOL.  New stand with anchors and sloar lights and all, nothing will stand in the way of my baby boys tree!  And like I said it may sound silly to some but to me it is a big deal.  I promised him he would always be involved in everything we do as a family and Christmas is no different!  So if you happen to be in Lafayette, LA at night in the month of December take a drive down University Street and when you see a little speck of colored lights shining from a cemetery that is my Braxton's tree!  Christmas may never be the same but each year the Christmas spirit slowly comes back as I get to watch Leighton and Jean Paul be involved in Braxton's Tree tradition.  Nothing compares to seeing the magic in their eyes because I know they get to experience that magic because of Braxton's life.  He was the ultimate Christmas gift in 2011 but he has since gifted us with 2 other miracles that I know he hand picked for us.

Movie Night

I will never understand how a blow up mattress in the living room can save the day LOL!  But for now I will not question it either!  Movie night to the rescue!!!!!

Day 2 Of Leighton's Surprise Trip

Sunday morning the 3 of us woke up without any alarm clock or kids crying lol.  As soon as Leighton opened her eyes she asked "is it time to leave the hotel already?"  Almost in tears she begged to stay and we told her we all still had to shower and watch cartoons and then when we were ready we had a special breakfast to take her too.  After breakfast we would come back to the hotel to tell it bye bye.  She bought that hook line and sinker and we all started getting ready for surprise day #2!  In between primping and watching cartoons Leighton got some work done, well she called a few people on the hotel phone (unplugged) and even took some very important notes too!  Then the 3 of us headed out for a New Orleans style breakfast.  She thought she was so fancy as we were seated at brunch with a band or the conductor man playing right at our table.  She got her very own Shirley Temple drink and ordered gumbo lol!  As we watched other families enjoying breakfast while juggling multiple kids we couldn't help but giggle.  It is so nice to go out as a family but it is also so exhausting at times too.  For the first time in a long time we got to just sit and talk to Leighton only.  No having to push her to the side or tell her to hold on for just a minute while we tend to Jean Paul.  I know all these things are normal and she is used to them but it is nice to let her know sometimes it is all about her... and that she deserves it to be that way sometimes too!
After breakfast sadly it was time to tell our hotel goodbye.  This is where we had a few tears from Leighton and she asked one last time if our driver would be back soon to pick us up lol.  Brent told her she would need to discuss the whole driver situation with her Pepa when we got back to Lafayette.  Well Pepa did not help matters at all when he started to tear up hearing his Leighton thought she was a real princess.  So there is no telling what he will tell her real life expectations should be like lol.  As we loaded up and she thought our adventure was over we told her Mommy and Daddy had one last surprise for her.  Excited as can be she sat in the back seat staring out the window watching to see where we were headed.  Oh but she did need to reapply lip gloss for the surprise she said!!  Finally we arrived at the theatre for the Peppa Pig Live show, but Leightlol.  Once she kind of understood that we were here to see the REAL PEPPA PIG she hurried us to our seats.  Well that was it now the excited little girl I had envisioned was here and ready to party.  Popcorn and light ups in hand we sat anxiously in our seats while Leighton asked every 30 seconds if Peppa was still getting dressed and if she was coming soon.  While we waited for the show to start we got a surprise message from Pepa (guess you are seeing how Grandpa was changed to Pepa now lol).  He called to tell us that after the show we were invited to the Meet And Greet with Peppa & George backstage!!!!!!!  Once again I can't blame Leighton for feeling like a Princess because this was the exact way I felt growing up.  It may be spoiled but my parents always found a way to make our dreams come true.  For the first time in my whole parenting life I felt what it felt like to see pure awe and excitement in my child's eyes.  In that moment I truly understood how my parents had always gone above and beyond to make my brother and my childhoods larger than life.  I literally thought I was going to cry because I was that excited to be able to experience this with my daughter.  The show was great Leighton was devastated at intermission while we tried to explain to her that it was only half way through lol.  And as she wiggled in her seat I realized she was so scared to miss something that she was frightened to get up and go to the bathroom.  As I hurried her to the restroom I was met by a mile long line of a million and one other kids and moms needing to pee in the 15 minute window they call intermission with 3 stalls thank you very much.  So how do you get a 3 year old to understand that she has to hold it and there is nothing you can do about it lol.  Mom lesson learned..... next time send child with Dad at intermission to pee because logically I'm sure that line was very short LOL.  Most Dad's were either asleep in their chairs or streaming the Saint's game during the show LOL!  So as the show started Leighton made me run back to our seats to be sure to catch it all!  After the show we headed back stage for the Meet and Greet!  Yep you guessed it once again the royal treatment, but honestly any of you who know my Dad.... would you have expected anything less????  By far this was the coolest Meet and Greet I have ever seen.  Games, puzzles, gummies and more all while we waited to take our picture with the Real Peppa Pig!!!  Of course my shy little girl wouldn't go alone, but Mom and Dad were just as excited to pose with her for a picture and as we walked away Leighton asked them to call her when they came back next time LOL.  And that was a wrap for our first ever surprise trip with our daughter.
on still did not know that's where we were.  As we walked in and she saw the souvenir table you could see the wheels turning in her head.  Of course silly me expected dramatic surprise reaction but should of known better because she is Brent's child too

An amazing little girl I learned alot more about this weekend:

- she talks alot more than I thought she did

- she truly seemed happy doing nothing expensive just being with us was pleasing to her

- jumping on a hotel bed ranks high on her fun list

- she does miss her baby brother when he isn't around 

- she is her Daddy's daughter in so many ways (she holds back until she is ready to do something)

- pizza in bed may be her new favorite treat

- she didn't ask for us to buy anything which made me super proud as a Mom

- she still requires a nap whether I want to push her through a long day or not

- we aren't quite ready for Disney lines and characters just yet

- her smile is worth a million bucks

- her time with us is precious and a blessing as she is growing up so fast

- she thinks having a driver is every girls normal routine

- lip gloss is a must for her dates with her Daddy

- snuggling is still her favorite thing to do with her parents

and most importantly that she will remember this trip as much as we will because nothing is more valuable than quality time with the ones you love!!

Day 1 Of Leighton's Surprise Trip

All Leighton knew was that she was getting to go on a surprise trip with Mommy and Daddy!  Her only question was if we were going to a hotel?  I honestly think we could of just stayed in the hotel the whole time and she would of thought that was the best surprise ever!  When she woke up in the car we were in New Orleans and the first words out of her mouth were "Wow look at all these hotels!"  First thing we did when we checked in was jump on the bed!  That is the number one rule about hotels per Maw Maw and Pepa and Leighton was sure to remind us that we could do it as much as we wanted lol.  After unpacking and watching some cartoons it was time for Mommy and Leighton to get ready for their date night with Daddy!  She was all about the makeup and primping let me tell you.  I never in a million years thought I would have a little girl, so getting to do these girly things with her is beyond awesome.  Once Daddy said we were pretty and he was ready to head to surprise #1 we headed out on the town.  This is were we may of messed up Leighton's reality of what real life is really like lol.  You see this was all of our first ever Uber experiences, and now Leighton is still waiting on "her driver" to come and pick her up anytime we say we are going somewhere.  Our first surprise destination was City Park another first for even Brent & I.  It was so much fun and even better with all the Christmas lights and decorations up.  As we walked around hand in hand with Leighton I was reminded of how long it has been since I actually got one on one time with her.  As much as we were all missing Jean Paul it was nice to just give her all of the attention and treat her to time with just us.  We rode the train and carousel with no worry about being rushed.  As crazy as that sounds that is something that is a huge gift to me.  I am someone who is always running in a million directions and I can not figure out how to say no and slow down and then in those moments I do get a brief pause to stop my mind doesn't.  So being miles away from any to do lists and focus a hundred percent on Leighton was a blessing.  Even if the lines were long and the crowd was thick it didn't matter we didn't have anywhere else to be and I wouldn't of wanted to be anywhere else anyway!  After City Park we headed back to our hotel for a pizza party.  In our pajamas Leighton and I watched a movie while we waited on our room service.  Finally Daddy delivered our pizza to us and we all three sat in bed and ate.  In between the giggles and smiles we ate.  With towels covering the blankets we acted like we were on top of the world.  Pizza with our girl was the best way to top of our first day of Leighton's Surprise Trip.  And after we turned out the lights and snuggled while we finished our movie Leighton said "I very miss Jean Paul!'  How does your heart not melt.  As much as they pick at each other and go back and forth all day long she felt lost without him.  I told her how much I missed him too and that one day soon Jean Paul would get his own special trip but this time it was all about her.  As we laid there she told me how much she loved me and I watched her as she fell asleep.  After Brent and her were fast asleep I slipped into the bathroom to have a moment to myself.  This is where I let it all out.  The tears would not stop but for the first time in a long time I was sobbing because I was happier than I ever thought I would be.  I never in a million years thought I could physically or emotionally be this tired and then be this happy to be this tired lol.  I don't think Leighton will ever truly understand how much she means to me or how much she truly saved me.  I am still amazed that she is mine and forever grateful to be hers.  When I slipped back into bed I picked her up and laid her on me to hold her.  I didn't care if she woke up it was what I wanted and more than that it is what I needed.  I know I slept with a smile on my face all night as I thanked God for trusting me with her and thinking of the surprise that was coming for Day #2 of Leighton's Surprise Trip!!!

And Thats's A Wrap

Well what an amazing weekend we had with our little girl!  We took her to New Orleans for a surprise weekend getaway!  It was way past time for us to give her some undivided attention from Mommy and Daddy!  You always plan on doing it but with life and work and everything else time just slips away from you.  This weekend was not only great for Leighton it was great for Brent and I too!  There were a million and one things we could of been accomplishing at home but instead we left them there because in reality those things will all still be there when we get home.  And if I'm being completely honest I would of never finished everything I had on my to do list anyway lol!  So even though we are sitting in bumper to bumper traffic trying to get back to Lafayette it was worth it!  I can't wait to go through all the pics tomorrow and post about our trip!