Our little family has a tradition we started 5 years ago the day before Braxton's arrival. When we did it 5 years ago we did not know that it would become our thing until his first birthday. That's when found ourselves in the exact spot the day before his birthday again and since then we have vowed to do it every year as our tradition. This year we will be at the beach for his birthday which means we will not be here for our tradition or to visit him on his birthday. I have had a hard time excepting that I won't be here for all of that but I know in my heart he knows I will be celebrating his day wherever we are. So amazingly Brent asked if I wanted to take the kids today before we hit the road tomorrow. My heart skipped a few beats and I was beyond happy that he too still wanted to keep our special outing going. So that's what we did. And at the end of the day I realized it's OK that we did it on a different day. What truly matters is that we still did it, and we did it as a family.
On August 16, 2012 our entire family was anxious and beyond scared for what was to come the next morning of the 17th "Braxton's Arrival Day." Our faith was still strong and we continued praying and hoping for a miracle. Funny thing is.... even when your faith and trust in God is stronger than ever you can still be scared. And that's exactly what we were. With the Dr's unsure if they knew exactly what Braxton had or how to tell us what to expect we were down right terrified. You trust your Dr and you trust medical science, but when you are told if what they believe was taking place with your pregnancy and your son is true then it is something none of them have ever seen before................ you are scared. So not knowing what to think or what our lives would be like in less than 15 hours Brent told me to get in the truck. He loaded me in and said we were just going for a ride. It was probably the only way he knew how to cope was to just get out and to do something. I mean what do you do with a 40 week pregnant wife who basically knows that her son will be here tomorrow, but he may not be here long. I was a basket case of course, but I was also in a peaceful place within my own being too. I knew in my heart that I had used every single second of having Braxton in my womb as time with him. We did so many things in order to enjoy the moments we did get to have him with us, even if it was why I was still holding him. But looking back I think Brent started to process all of the things he was not more than likely going to get to experience or share with his son. And that was painful. A Dad and a Son should have many special moments throughout the years and it was just hitting him that this may be his last opportunity to do that. So off we went with no plan and no agenda. We just drove. And by the end of our ride these are the things we did and where we went with Braxton in order for Daddy to get those special moments with his boy in case this was his last chance.
1) We drove all over UL campus as Daddy pointed out all of the important buildings and spots.
2) We got down at the University Bookstore and bought Braxton an authentic Cajuns souvenir.
3) We drove to Cajun Field to show him where Daddy had played football in college and where we still loved tailgating for many sports events.
4) We went through the snowball line right in Poppa's parking lot to get yummy snowballs and show him Mike's Car Care.
5) And lastly we found ourselves at Girard Park which is back on campus. There we sat under a tree and ate our snowballs and fed the ducks.
None of that sounds like huge events Right? But to us they are part of who we are and everything we wished and dreamed we could share with Braxton. And because of that alone it was perfect. And each year we do the same thing. This year after the park I drove past our spots with the kids and had to scream over Jean Paul's crying (because he hates the car) and Leighton's movie she was watching LOL. One thing we do different is with 2 small children we do not get out at the book store to shop lol. But Leighton & Jean Paul both do get a UL shirt for the upcoming football season. And yes my kids have tons of UL attire, but these shirts are picked out by Brent himself! So this day means so much to me because we are together and remembering him as a family!!! A part of me has hope and visions of Braxton bragging to his angel friends about our tradition and about how he is proud to be a Ragin Cajun even if its an angel one!
No comments:
Post a Comment