Even When I Feel Like I Am Failing

I am trying 

with all that is in me 

to learn

 and grow

 and be healthy

 and patient 

and kind

 and respond the right way

 and do the right thing.

I hope my kids see that.

Even on the days when they

 are fighting 

and are refusing to do what I want 

and it is too hard

 and I have given all that I have

 and I think it isn't supposed to look like this,

I am not a failure.

I don't need to try harder.

There is not a formula that will make everything perfect if I could just get it right.

And that is ok.

Because my children will have days like this too in life,

and they will need to know 

what is looks like to breathe in grace!

REPEAT!

Today was one of those days where I truly felt like a failure as a Mom.  I got aggravated and snappy and even lost reaction time in a moment I should of been able to prevent.  But as I lay here crying while my kids sleep in bed I have to keep repeating to myself that I am not a failure.  I pray my babies always know that no matter what I will always be there behind them to catch them in life, but that I am far from perfect myself.  Admitting that seems more important to teach them than to hide.  I will have days I feel like super Mom and then days like today where I don't feel worthy to even be their Mommy, but that is ok.  Because tomorrow is a new day for new memories and we will start fresh.  I fought to hard for my dream of being a Mom to become a reality.... so one hard day is nothing I can't take.  

It isn't easy to take but it is worth every tear that got me here...... 

and here is right where I want to be even on the days I feel like I have failed!!