How can it only be Tuesday??? Somehow this week already feels like it’s been so long. Having some rough nights with Leighton and personally feeling defeated in so many areas of my life right now. A lot of it is probably my own stress I put on myself to do everything just perfectly right even though I know that isn’t possible! But I guess it’s human nature to want the most for yourself and family so when you feel like you aren’t doing that it takes a toll on you. So after picking up the kids today I knew just what we all needed..... a visit with Bubba! As soon as we pulled into the cemetery Leighton started squealing “Bubba oh Bubba we are here!!!” My heart skipped at least a thousand beats and I felt better already! We got down and played and visited for a little bit and the kids even sang happy birthday to him just because they wanted to lol! And then as we started to load up in the car Leighton said “Mommy I like how we tell Bubba we love him every night after prayers!” “I do too sweetie, I do too!” I know that he is with us always and that truly is one of the main things that keeps me going! I pray each and everyday that Braxton knows I did everything I could for him and that I’m trying my hardest to be the best Mom I can and even on the days I feel I have fallen short I hope he knows I won’t give up!!!
Each day is a blessing yet a struggle as I learn to live as a grieving mother and a mother I want my other children to love! Braxton our first born son changed our lives and taught us so much. He also paved the way for his following siblings to dodge the curse of our DNA. We have had to find a different way to make our dreams of a family a reality. So Good Play DNA you thought you had us but we showed you that only God is in charge when it comes to miracles.
Tuesday, January 23, 2018
Stopped To Say Hi
How can it only be Tuesday??? Somehow this week already feels like it’s been so long. Having some rough nights with Leighton and personally feeling defeated in so many areas of my life right now. A lot of it is probably my own stress I put on myself to do everything just perfectly right even though I know that isn’t possible! But I guess it’s human nature to want the most for yourself and family so when you feel like you aren’t doing that it takes a toll on you. So after picking up the kids today I knew just what we all needed..... a visit with Bubba! As soon as we pulled into the cemetery Leighton started squealing “Bubba oh Bubba we are here!!!” My heart skipped at least a thousand beats and I felt better already! We got down and played and visited for a little bit and the kids even sang happy birthday to him just because they wanted to lol! And then as we started to load up in the car Leighton said “Mommy I like how we tell Bubba we love him every night after prayers!” “I do too sweetie, I do too!” I know that he is with us always and that truly is one of the main things that keeps me going! I pray each and everyday that Braxton knows I did everything I could for him and that I’m trying my hardest to be the best Mom I can and even on the days I feel I have fallen short I hope he knows I won’t give up!!!
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