Yesterday marked our 6th year we have had a team for the annual Maddie's Footprints Walk. Each year I don't know why I expect it to be easier because it never is. The emotions that are involved are huge, but the reason for them is so worth it. There are no words to explain how much Maddie's Footprints support means to our family and extended family for all they have done for not only us but many others. As I headed to the race yesterday I had chills as I saw the signs lining the Camelia Blvd. Each sign represents a baby gone too soon. It brought tears to my eyes instantly. What a profound site to see sign after sign all the way down the boulevard. It broke my heart knowing even though each sign was designed with love for someones baby and is a beautiful tribute it also means we have had that much loss in Acadiana. That many families are hurting day in and day out just like us. Just like every other year our family and friends that were able to join us showed up bright and early with their Team Braxton shirts on ready to celebrate our baby boy! There was fun activities for the kids and lots of laughs for the adults as we sat around visiting! Six years ago Brent and I were honored to share our story at the end of the race during the ceremony. It was beyond tough but something I will cherish forever. The feeling of being able to announce to the world that our son did exist and we were his proud parents was exactly what I needed only 2 short months after losing Braxton. Each year I am moved to tears as I hear another story shared. Even though every single story is far from the same it all ends with the same heartache. The pain of having to give your child back to God far earlier than you ever imagined. Each parent prayed for their miracle to survive and the last thing they ever wanted was to be in the club of grieving parents, but we are together now and our club is made up of some of the strongest and most faithful people I have ever met. I am honored to have them by my side on this painful journey. This year the tribute was read by some dear friends of ours. And like always tears ran down my face as I listened to their Amelia's story. I already knew her journey, but hearing it being shared with over a thousand other people made me so proud to witness. There is a sense of pride that was coming across the microphone and it hit me hard. The next thing I heard made even more emotions arise. Jen & her wife Jen took turns sharing and as they passed the microphone I heard my sweet boy Braxton's name. They had been moved by Maddie's amazing organization when we lost Braxton and stood with us 6 years ago on our team to show support. When I learned Amelia was sick in utero I remember thinking how ironic it was that I still had messages on my phone from her Mother when we found out Braxton was sick. Messages that read they were praying hard for us and our son. Messages that read no parent should have to go through this heartache. Messages that read how they could see our undying love we had for a baby we had not even met yet. And messages that read they would always be moved by our choice to allow Braxton to fight rather than terminate our pregnancy per some Dr's suggestions. As I read back the conversations I could only hope that God had a hand in Braxton crossing their paths, because a huge part of me feels the heart string they felt tugging on them for us was preparing them for what was to come. During their speech they also mentioned our amazing nurse and close friend, Fallon. She also met them 6 years ago at their first race for our team. As I heard them admit they could not of gotten through their own journey without her I lost it. She was more than a nurse to me and she still continues to allow God to bring her to the bedside of family after family as they face the hardest moments of their lives. She not only is an angel on this earth she is blessed and strong enough to acknowledge and give God the glory for her strength, stating to me that she is simply a vessel that is trying to allow his work to be done through her to comfort her patients. I am honored to now call her more than our nurse from the day Braxton entered and peaceful left this earth, she is my family! Finally the traditional balloon release began and tears were shed as each of our supporters hugged us silently. No words needed to even be spoken because we knew what was in their hearts. This year was even more moving as Brent & I become more and more involved with our other 2 children during the celebration and especially the balloon release. The innocence in Leighton's eyes as she watches the hundreds of balloons fly as high as she can see while truly believing Bubba is waiting in heaven to receive them. And as Jean Paul's chubby little hands grip his balloon with uncertainty if he is ready to part with it, until it is released and you can truly see his amazement with the piercing blue sky filled with so many beautifully colored balloons soaring. I will never stop believing in celebrating the life of my son or the life of all the other angel babies who were honored yesterday. It is truly amazing to witness such a special occasion even if it is for a hard and sometimes unspoken topic. I don't think anyone who attended can disagree or challenge me when I say there was nothing but pride and love in each parent's face as their child was remembered yesterday! The day ended with everyone parting again till next year, but it is never complete till some of us Angel Moms can get that hug we so secretly and desperatly need from each other. It wams my heart to see us smiling together and supporting each other still year after year. Nothing can replace an Angel Moms smile after a day honoring their child their childs friends in heaven. I believe with all my heart our children have brought us together in order for us to survive!
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